The One that Got Away

Lately, I've been kind of sad because one of my co-workers lost her husband to colon cancer. It's just all of a sudden!!! Like, no sign from her that she's been going through a lot of pain or something. And the first time we've heard all (some) of what happened was when the husband died already. The reason I'm sad is because I know how it feels to keep the pain to yourself. When I lost my grandmother, I also didn't tell anyone at work. I'm pretty close to this person for some reason because she's the same age as my mom and she protects me I feel like so I like her. Also, we somehow think alike. 

So this is what happened. 2 days before I went to Osaka, our leader asked this co-worker to go to work on the days that I wouldn't be around because it's her off. She then said that she's not sure whether she would be able to come because she will be going to the hospital. So, when she said that, it didn't seem suspicious because she takes her own monthly hospital check-ups seriously. When I came back from Osaka, I then heard of the bad news and it all made sense. I heard from one tita that there was one time when ate M and this tita were talking about ate M's sister's husband who recently died of lung cancer or something and then this co-worker who was nearby just walked away as if avoiding to hear their conversation. 

I pretty much told everyone about my lola before and that she's the reason why I'm working so hard and stuff and then probably a year ago, this co-worker asked about my lola's health and then that's when I told her that lola left us already. And I clearly remember what she said. "Si bunso nanahimik nalang." I didn't know she's been keeping something herself. I'm sad because I know that she loves her husband very much. I know because when other women are talking about how they like other guys and stuff, she's always saying that she's contented and lucky that her husband is kind and giving and stuff. We were together Sunday night at work, right? And when we got off in the morning, she said that she got a call from her husband at 7:41 am. Her husband has been in the hospital for 14 days during that time I think. And hospitals here in Japan doesn't really allow visitors to stay outside visiting hours so the husband was pretty much alone, right? My co-worker mentioned that she's always receiving calls from the husband but that Monday morning call didn't feel right. She told us he then said things he usually say and stuff. One thing I couldn't forget was this, "力合わせって頑張ってね！" It's sad. But she was lucky because she was able to be with him up until the very last. Something I wasn't able to do with my lola. But you know. So yeah I don't know why I'm sharing this actually. It's just sad. 

She said that during those diffucult times at the hospital, she would come to work as if nothing's wrong but when left alone, that when she would breakdown and all that. This co-worker seems okay at work now but I know she's not. YET! But she will be. I know because we think alike.