Quarter Life Crisis

relevant because this is my childhood bedroom here in Japan 

Well assuming I'd live for about 75 years more, I think I'm having a quarter life crisis. I turned 25 last month and I'm honestly in a little bit of a panic. Also, I think you should know that I spelled panic like panick. Whut? I was like, is panick a work? Hahaha. Anyways, I'm just so pressured that I am somehow behind my timeline. Don't get me wrong though, there are still a lot of things that I am ahead (kind of) of my timeline. And for that, I'm really thankful. But do we really need a timeline? What for? Who are we trying to impress? After all the nonesense of building a timeline, I still think that we do need to somehow construct how we want our lives to be. For example, when I was a child, if things were according to my timeline, I'd already be married by now. In a church somewhere. My teenage self would have seen me as a doctor at 25. My early 20's self would have seen me already out of Japan at 25. But look at where I am. Not married nor a doctor nor out of Japan. But I wouldn't have it any other way. Or so I would like to think. There are two things about broken timeline. DISAPPOINTMENT and CHANCE. Disappointment. If there's anything that I'm disappointed for, It'd be me not yet out of Japan. Because I'm happy I'm not yet married at 25. I mean, no offense to those who are married at a much younger age but what do we know at 25? I guess there's a reason why we graduate college at 22. It seems like the right age to think of the future. Also, I'm not really sure if I wanted to be a doctor which would really be a tragedy had I graduated medicine by now. And chance. A chance to rebuild broken dreams and a chance to make it better. 

Well the real question is, is 25 years old, old? I don't know. But it's definitely not young. It's the time when you can already have it your way and no one would think that you're doing it out of incompetence and lack of experience. When I was watching a Korean drama called Hello, My Twenties, one person there is 24 years old, my favorite, and she quit her job as a prostitute and started art school to become a fashion designer where her classmates are preschoolers. But she persisted! She was so crappy at drawing at first but at the end of the episode, she was filmed drawing it perfectly already. So you know, that's my girl! 

The short-haired girl is also my girl but she's kind of weird but you know, we kind of have something in common so whatever and weird is good! If anything, I'm probably just not as wild. 

So here's how it all started. When I was inviting the people I have to invite, they were asking my age, right? And then they were like, "you're old!" "I can't believe you're 25!" "you don't need a man at that age anymore" FML! I guess that's so in the early 90s! I mean, professionals are now being smart marrying someone because they want to establish themselves first before settling to something as permanent as marriage. I mean, gone were the days when people are not college educated and gets married in vain after high school. You know what I mean? It's a professional world now. It's a new world we're living and it's the world I'm in so I'm not really concerned about that. Also, it seems like I'm contradicting myself (like I always do) so Imma stop now before I make a fool out of myself more. Ciao!